Posted by: Pablo | March 27, 2007

What it is like to hang out with Jie Yang

I wrote this a while ago, but still relevant.
Jie is the asian one
He is the handsome guy on the right.
Very few people have the honor and privilege to hang out with Jie due mostly to the fact that he has only three friends.  Usually I invite him to hang out but due to Jie’s busy schedule it is difficult to arrange a meeting.  This is because Jie works stupid hours and throws everybody else with a normal schedule off track.  He gets off work late in the evening but his activities after work are fucking absurd.  Jie likes to take naps for no fucking reason.  Meaning, while normal non-retards are gathering to begin the night’s activities, Jie’s bitch ass is asleep.  To top it off, after his naps he goes to workout in shoreline which is quite the journey from his home in New Castle.  If we are lucky, Jie is finally available to meet up at around 11PM.  Fortunately, the experiences he provides are worth the tardiness of his arrival.  On one particular night, the events that took place were hilarious, and this is what I will now discuss. 

So, we meet up with Jie and David Lew at my house to go drinking on the Ave.  Me and all the gays make our way there and Jie starts the massive shit talking, challenging the amigos to go drink for drink.  It is what you come to expect from such a keyboard warrior.  We get to the bar and he orders an AMF for himself because he is too much of a prick to buy a round for the only guys who put up with his shit.  After we all get our drinks Jie tells Dj LaoD to take a picture of Jie and his first drink, because Jie assures us that it will be the first of many.  Approximately 45 minutes passed and Jie barely finishes his first drink.  This is failure number 1.  Jie gets another AMF and only drinks half of it.  That is failure number 2.  By this point he is already drunk and ridiculously emo.  The facial expression of Jie is one that which is on the verge of tears.  However, we as his friends do not help the situation because this is the time we begin to insult him the most.  It is unclear whether Jie can take such abuse or if we are making the situation worse.  When we are all buzzed it doesn’t matter and we stop caring.  I always tend to bring up stuff that will get me a good response like the topic of his receding hairline or of girls who only think of him as a friend and nothing more.  

On this night, Jie also felt the urge to go Rick’s, Seattle’s finest gentlemen’s club, at around 2AM.  As we all know, Rick’s closes at 2:30AM, and Jie got the brilliant idea to visit such an establishment in Ballard so the drive was only a few exits away.  We get there at around 2:10 and David Lew and I decide it is not worth the ten dollar cover charge and proceed to wait in Jie’s car and talk about our feelings.  Twenty minutes pass by and Jie comes out looking somewhat satisfied.  Although, I could see it in his eyes… a piece of his soul remained inside of that dirty and evil place.  Of course, we ask how much he spent.  Turned out to be an absurd amount around $200.  Let me explain, a lap dance costs thirty bucks and if the female of your choice actually enjoys your presence then you can get much better deals.  Seeing as how each song for a lap dance lasts no more than five minutes when you do the math you realize just how fucking retarded Jie really is.  This guy is truly a barrel of laughs. 

An example of Jie and his failure as a man:

jyangm: i can just marry a stripper overnight
jyangm: get her really drunk
jyangm: then null the marriage a week later
jyangm: if she tries to get ailomony
jyangm: ill just arrange for an accident
MixMaster P 2k3: that plan would backfire, since you would already be madly in love with her
jyangm: LOL!
jyangm: TRUE
jyangm: SO TRUE
jyangm: SO VERY
jyangm: VERY
jyangm: TRUE
jyangm: im going to cut myself
jyangm: excuse me

Advertisements

Responses

  1. damn that guy is ugly. the one on the right that is.

  2. OMFG WERD ON JIE’S FUCKING NAPS!!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: