I am a little late in writing about this, but who gives shit I will do it anyway. On February 20, 2008 I decided to take ride the number 49 bus home, because I did not feel like running and catching up to the 43. To my surprise, Eric also happened to be on the bus. This was exciting, I never run into any of the homies while on the bus. We chat for a bit, mostly about how fucked up he was on his birthday. No more than two stops later something happened. There was an ugly ass Native American looking guy sitting in the back, probably shit faced off that fire water. I saw him right when I got on the bus, because I always keep on eye on minorities. Nothing out of the ordinary, there are tons of these fools downtown.

Anyway, after two stops or so, this particular Native said, “oh shit” and then proceeded to waddle off the bus in a peculiar fashion. As he passed by us, I could smell that Steel Reserve he probably drank before boarding the bus. However, after he had made his way past us, I got a whiff of something quite putrid. It smelled like one of those watery, diarrhea type shits you get when you drink way too much the previous night. I hear some snickering coming from the back. Lo and behold, that dirty ass Native literally shat himself, and the watery bowl movement seeped through his pants, and on to the seat. It was hilarious, because it was maybe a one inch skid mark at the most, and the smell was exceptionally strong. So, by protocol it seemed, the bus driver called a supervisor. There I am, laughing my ass off with Eric, waiting for some unlucky bastard to clean that shit up. I could have walked home by this point, but I did not. I wanted to enjoy the moment for as long as possible. It was exactly the type of randomness I love to experience. This is the stuff great stories are made of. This experience actually made its way on The Stranger, which I found hilarious because I actually emailed the editor of Last Days, and he responded by telling me that someone else had already wrote him about it. Awesomeness. Click here and scroll down.

This also reminds me, homeless people annoy me.  They piss me off when they smell like shit and happen to ride the same bus as I do.  For example, the other day while going to work.  Some guy smelling like BO and shit got on the bus.  This fucker knew he smelled like shit too, yet kept a pretty nonchalant demeanor the whole time while the people surrounding him made faces.  Usually I do not care but the temperature, humidity, along with the barometric pressure were in perfect conjunction with one another so that this motherfucker’s aroma was at its peak.  Even worse, that fucking disgusting scent stuck onto my clothes for the rest of the day.  Seriously, how fucking disgusting must you be to let shit get that bad.  I would have washed myself in a McDonald’s bathroom at some point before I walked around in the scent of death.  Fuck that guy.

In other news, I learned how to cook something. It is a food item that every manly man should know how to make for themselves when they don’t have a woman to do it for them. The item is none other than the almighty steak.

I actually did some research on steak, and I realized everyone and their mom has some sort of opinion on how to make it properly. There seemed to be those who have good advice, and those who are elitist pricks. Just from what I read on a few sites, there is always someone insisting you not put anything on steak, that you should only use aged meat, and USDA Prime. That is fine and dandy, but unfortunately I don’t have “Franco’s Butcher Shop” down the fucking block, and I must make due with whatever I can get my hands on. I don’t have time to waste when I am hungry. I got some good marinade recipes online; specifically McCormick’s which is delicious.

In order to cook the steak, I use the cast iron skillet with the 500 degree oven assist. I actually got this technique from the Shoryuken.com forums of all places. You stick your cast iron skillet in the oven, and then set it for 500 degrees. After it reaches that temp, set your heating element to the highest setting. Put the skillet on the burner and I just seer all the sides of the steak until you are satisfied. Then, put the skillet in the oven, and cook each side for around two minutes. I usually leave it on longer, because I like chewing meat. Not a big fan of rare. This method gives you a medium to medium-well level of doneness. Maybe I will learn to cook something else, like chicken. For the time being, I will just eat steak whenever I can get some meat.

Here is what it looks like:

In other news, Rick Ross released his album, “Trilla”. Go download it, some of those tracks you just need to bump at maximum volume. Even Mannie Fresh had to make an appearance, that right there is quality beat making.

You ain’t gotta guess, it’s me and Mannie Fresh/
You know we gettin’ money by the way a nigga dress/

Cop that shit, it is hot like fire.

This is all for now, next week is finals. I do not care about school anymore, senioritis to the max. Please believe.

I moved out.

It has finally happened. I got my own place and am no longer living with la familia. It is what I have been working on for the past few months. Endless trips to Home Depot, moving, fixing, assembling, and even breaking shit; it has all finally come to an end. At the end of my post I will put up some pictures. Just keep in mind, we improved everything. It is practically unrecognizable from the day I bought it.

I moved in a few weeks ago, but only until now have I revealed this fact to you all. My father and I have been scheming about such a move for a while. As some of you may know, I was willing to swallow my pride and move out from my parent’s into my own until I had the money to do so (picture me at home in my early 30s, not good). After some consideration, we decided it may be better to take a chance on a small bachelor pad which I can live in, rent out, or inherit to my younger sister several years from now. Hopefully it all works out, I still want my own house where I can listen to Iron Maiden and Darude – Sandstorm with the volume turned up to the maximum in a 5,000 watt receiver.

Now, let us discuss some details about my new residence. It is not big, a little under 500 square feet in total. It is a one bedroom condo. One half is the living room and kitchen, while the other is the bedroom and bath. All separated by a strange wall and double pocket doors. There are no hallways, so that is why the place is not so big. However, the pocket doors come in handy because with both opened the place does not look so small. I have all new stainless steel appliances, and a washer and dryer in the living room closet. I have all I need within my unit. Best thing is there is a garage for my car to rest in. Parking in the area is a luxury, one I am lucky enough to have. The spot is not very large, but the beast fits, and my car does not scrape or bottom out as I enter the garage. There were many places I looked at in which I would bottom out and cringe as I entered the various garages.

Location wise, it is top tier. It is in the homoerotic, bleeding liberal heart of Capitol Hill. It is on 11^th Ave between Denny and Howell. In front of Cal Anderson Park, or one block east of the grimy ass Jack in the Box where speaking Spanish is mandatory. The cool thing is that in front of my building there is back-in angle parking, so visitors are not screwed out of parking, for the most part. I can walk downtown in twenty minutes.

With regards to the whole transition from “home” to my place, it has been a little strange. It is not like I moved in with 6 other roommates, the entire place is mine and I have complete control over everything. I really do miss my family, as emo as that may sound. Unlike most ungrateful accidental children here in the US, I actually have a great respect and admiration for my parents. I did not move out because I could not get a long with them or anything of the sort. As a lot of you have seen in the past, my parents are pretty fucking awesome and extremely understanding. Hell, even my sister is a great source of entertainment. I would simply stop by in her room and be entertained for as long as I wanted. At times I feel like the backbone of the family and the most difficult part is not being there for them whenever they want. Whether it is spell checking something for my father, helping my sister with her homework, or making fun of my mom, I have progressed to the next stage of life. The immediate familial interactions of the past will change no matter how hard I try. Great thing is I can drive back home in two minutes. Crazy how things work out.

Pictures!!!

Just a few things to note. Those granite slabs in the kitchen, we hauled those up three flights of stairs. They were awkward to move and seemed to way well over 200 pounds. They look sexy as hell.

The bathroom was completely redone. The old bathroom had a shitty tub, we pulled it out and had a family connection to a stone mason who installed the marble shower and glass doors.

Wood floors all around, replaced the crappy carpet.

All new cabinets and closet doors.

Painted all the walls.

Granite window sills, very sexy time.

This is where we throw down on the sticks. No HDTV yet, because I prefer to play Marvel and Super Turbo without lag.

I do not think wordpress allows embedding from twango.

Go here for more pics!

 

 

I believe this was the first major tournament in the northwest since the one at Famcom in Redmond a few years ago. I will not lie, I was very excited to be in attendance. I had originally intended to enter every single game available, but the majority of my caravan played only Super Turbo or Marvel. That was fine with me, because those are the only games that matter anyway. I managed to enter Marvel, ST, KOFXI, third strike, and Guilty Gear. Marvel only had 11 people enter, so the match ups were nasty but it was still fun. Unfortunately I did not place. I went 0-2 in GG, but I actually put up a fight in the game. That is impressive to say the least seeing as how I only played the game two times after the US release for ps2 came out. Third Strike was nasty like usual. I went 1-3 in that game using Hugo, and I managed to beat a decent Chun player. I was finally eliminated by an Alex player, so that match was epic and I enjoyed it very much. I also entered the KOFXI tournament, but I choked big time. Mostly because I forgot all of the moves and combos I had practiced. There were about 15 or so Mexicans playing all sorts of SNK games, so that was cool to see in person for once.

The real highlight was how I did in ST. I love the game, but I sure as hell never practice anything. I only play it at gatherings, because the game is tons of fun against good competition. I play Ryu, purely on instinct. I have tried watching good Ryu match videos from Japan and whatnot, but I do not see anything that I would want to emulate. My style is pure courage and heart. I will attempt things that no one should ever try. I will walk forward a quarter of the playing space and do walk up throws in your face. I have no fear. I use him because he is very basic, yet versatile.

On to the actual ST tournament. I managed to get 3rd place and won $22. FUCKING AWESOME. To be fair, I don’t think I was matched up against extremely good players, but I can adapt fairly well. Being that Marvel is my main game, ST comes across as an extremely slow game for me. My first match was against some Mexican guy using Guile. This match up scares me, because despite whatever some jap overseas thinks about this match up it is a huge pain in the ass for Ryu. Sure, I can spam fireballs, but if Guile gets close I will be eating spinning back fists all day. A good Guile just turtles and constantly keeps charge for sonic booms or flash kicks. Thankfully, I have played against the best Guile in the NW, so this Mexican Guile guy was no where near as effective as Axel Kelly. He placed 2nd overall. I was a cheap bastard because I spammed fireballs from a distance and baited him into throwing sonic booms so that I could hurricane kick over them and do damage via throws.

The second guy I fought was actually a WA Ken player. He actually beat me one game because I did not take him seriously, but he was also on top of his game. I had never seen him be that effective so props to Paul for holding it down. He learned the knee bash trap well.

The third guy I fought was none other than what seems to be my ST arch rival, Julius Blaze. Before people started playing this game for real in Seattle, Julian was tearing shit up the first season of the ST tournaments. He plays Balrog, one that can be scary if you are not careful. Of course, that goes for all boxer players. I think I had only played him once in an actual tourney, and I lost. Ever since then I never really played him for real. Since I never really place that high in Seattle ST tournaments, I believe he underestimated just how much I can beast on people. I like fighting boxer, because I can see all his moves in advance. I can stuff most of his attacks with crouching forward and roundhouse. I also like throwing out dragon punches a full screen away because they stuff his attacks as well and help me build meter. We went the distance, and I believe I was able to greatly reduce the effectiveness of his attacks, and that is why I won. Again, it shows the brilliance of ST as a game. Play your cards right with any character and you can overcome any disadvantages your character may have in certain match ups. It was glorious.

After that I made it to the winner’s finals. I fought Julien Beasley, who played Bison. I seriously thought I could beat him because I have fought him before with my Ryu and beaten him soundly with my unorthodox style. However, Beasley was not fucking around this time, and hit me with tons of tick throws and dizzy combos. He is truly a master of the game and it was an honor to even be matched up against him. Then I played Axel Kelly in loser’s and lost to his Guile. I ate many a back fist and flash kicks. It was similar to the Hatton vs. Mayweather fight. I kept myself busy by continuously going forward, but he pulled out a few “Pretty boy Floyd” shots on reaction and killed me.

Hopefully we can get something like this going here in Seattle. Our Marvel crew is probably the best in the nation, and our ST players can hang with the best of them. Overall I was satisfied with how smoothly everything went. I left Seattle around 12pm that Saturday and arrived around 5am Sunday morning. It was a blast, and I have not had that much fun with regards to gaming since Evo. I drove down 3 hours, placed in ST and drove back that same night. I am pretty awesome.

Here are two pictures with me in them:

You can see Keith, me, Dan, and Brian Ma signing up to kick some ass. Yes, that is my “serious but still sexy” face. Sam Y. is that guy with the curly hair, he is savage at 3S and CVS2 and he helped run the actual tournament.

As you can see great minds think alike. We wore the exact same color scheme, something that has never happened before. I thought I was the only one who rocked Halloween colors year round. Top row is my good looking ass, Sir Julius Beasley who got 1st place, Keith the dirtiest player in the game. Bottom row is Nate “Gief Jr.” Montes and Axel “Hardbody” Kelly who rocked cats left and right and got 2nd place.

That is all for today. Keep it real peeps.

Sorry for the delay, I have been very busy as of late. I am working on something…that will benefit all of us greatly. It is the reason I have been so goddamned busy and unable to hang out with the homies. Do not worry, for it will be worth it. Please believe.

I had actually written something a while ago, but for some fucking reason when I decided to publish the post I got an error and it deleted all of my shit. Never trust the internet. It is full of lies and deceit. Then I realized that wordpress did actually save it, so you get a double post!

Observations

I cannot wait to graduate. I like atmosphere at UW, but I do look forward to “moving on”, as gay as it may sound. I just need to be careful, I am under the impression that time goes by HELLA fast as one gets older.

Speaking of older, I have come to a realization about myself. As I get older, I get better looking. I look at past pictures of myself and I say, “That white ass spic looks like a bitch!” I still have those baby face elements to my look while maintaining just the right amount of manliness to make the ladies want me. At this point, I have no qualms about getting older, because I have maintained proper diet and exercise to maintain this sexiness. At this rate, I could only improve. This may come across as narcissistic, but who gives a fuck. If being sexy is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Yes, I did just write a paragraph about how good looking I am.

In other news, I have been messing around with this nifty color editor for Marvel Vs Capcom 2. It is awesome. Despite this being a feature in more recent fighting games, it is great to be able to do this for the greatest fighting game ever made.

Check out some of this crazy ish:

The rest are located here: Marvel Edits

Class is well underway, and like usual shit is wack. While I am all for higher learning, I do look forward to actually graduating. The only problem is that I have be able to make even more money than I am earning now. One thing I have noticed this quarter is that there are a lot of ugly ass people at UW. It just hit me last Thursday when I was walking on my way to class (from north campus to south). The weather was shitty, rain and wind all over the fucking place. Like the real man that I am, I was checking out every piece of ass. To my dismay, there were tons of ugly bitches. Fatties, retarded facial structures, and just straight up nastiness all over the place. I was angry. I was not sure if it was the shitty weather that for some reason caused all the uglies to leave their caves, but shit was out of hand. To make things worse, no hot bitches in my classes either.

Speaking of ugly. Every year I cannot help but notice just how fucking fat and ugly the latina bitches are on campus. I always check out whatever spic organizations set up shop on the hub lawn during the beginning of the quarter. Obviously, the only reason to join one of these organizations is because it is a free pass to get these bitches drunk for stupid ass fund raisers that no one gives a shit about. Well, that is never going to happen because my cock and balls have the tendency to go limp every time I see these ugly bitches. Seriously, they are short, fat, and walk around as if they were actually worthy of my penis. Come the fuck on.

If anyone knows a hot black girl that likes top tier mexicans please let me know, I have been trying to bang one but it is not working out so well. For that matter, white/black mixes would be even better. Because we all know, white makes everything right. Please believe.

In other fucking fantastic news, Street Fighter IV has been officially announced. This is easily the news story of the year. Hopefully they will start over and forget the “III” series even existed. At high level play, the game is fucking terrible.

No parries capcom, thanks.

Adventure Week 2007

The Cabin

This part was lots of fun, primarily because of just how wasted I got on the first day/night of being there.  It is definitely a lot more fun when all of your amigos participate in the drinking.  Usually, I tend to be the only one who delivers the goods but this trip gave everyone the opportunity to shine.  Unfortunately, going big on the first night, smoking half a pack of cigs, and puking sort of made me not want to drink the next day.  The hangover was terrible, but at least I only puked once the next morning. 

Speaking of the next morning there is a funny story to tell.  I was in a very vulnerable state, walking took a lot of effort and my breathing was off.  Simply put, I was a wreck. So I am there sitting on the couch feeling like a sack of shit when that nigga “Ray Ray” sits down next to me.  We are chillin’ like villains when all of a sudden he farts.  For the most part such bodily functions do not bother me because I do them all the time.  However, this just so happened to be the most foul smelling gas I have ever smelled.  Please keep in mind that I was so hung over that even breathing took effort.  No matter what I did I could not evade the smell because I was too weak to get up and flee the scene.  I almost puked, but I was able to minimize the effects of such a wretched scent by at least getting up and moving my nostrils away from the wickedness.

In conclusion, while there is not much to do over there, the most impressive aspect to me was the scenery.  It seems crazy to me that you drive four hours and still happen to be within Washington State.  I guess I am too used to driving up and down I-5. The roads were nice, and would have been much more fun in a car like the beast.  Too much body roll in the 3.8 liters of fury known as the Windstar. 

EVO Worlds in Las Vegas      

Lots of stuff went down in Vegas, most of it awesome.  Let me just say right off the bat that Jie is one of the stupidest motherfuckers ever.  First off, he decides to take a small amount of cash on hand, his argument being that “cash is obsolete”.  Did this nig seriously think cabs would take credit cards?  All of the ATMs at the Green Valley Ranch charge 10% of whatever you take out.  It was hard to not sock him in the face.  Why the fuck do I even bother to hang out with this tool.  Secondly, he gets owned severely at a strip club.  He asks for the champagne room that costs $300, little did he know they also charge you an extra $300 for the champagne itself.  To top things off it was a shitty stripper that would not even let him touch her boobies.  In desperate need of that vagina, he asks if she is willing to meet somewhere. They supposedly arrange to meet at Motel 6, but the bitch never shows!  I can just imagine him sitting there, sad, blue balled, and on the verge of throwing himself off a bridge because some stripper bailed on his bitch ass. Fucking FAIL. In retrospect, such ridiculous stories are exactly why I endure his company.  I could not make this shit up even if I tried. 

Moving along… the Green Valley Ranch is a pretty nice hotel.  It is huge and takes 10 minutes of non-stop walking to get anywhere.  Thing is, it has everything inside of it so that you never have to leave.  This is both good and bad because the only thing missing is a damn convenience store.  We had to walk about 2 miles in 90 degree weather to get to the nearest one.  Otherwise, there was a Panda Express in the food court.  I do not give a fuck what anybody says, you have to be one elitist prick to not like orange chicken. 

As for the tournament itself, it was one of the most insane and intense experiences ever.  I got to play a ton of games at a high level.  There were a few supergun setups running shit from X-men vs. Street Fighter, Alpha 3, Breakers Revenge, to Garou: Mark of the Wolves.  The best part was that I did not suck at most of these games and put up a fight, particularly in Garou and Alpha 3.  I did not know who I was playing, but at this level everyone can kick ass.  One of the highlights in casual play was getting the chance to fight Clockwork, the Strider/Doom master of Mvc2.  I played him for around 20 minutes and it was crazy.  I did not win a single game, but I almost did.  That is good enough for me, seeing as how in one match I experienced his perfect strider/doom trap firsthand. I could not get out and he chipped my Sentinel to death.  It was an honor. 

Regarding actual pool play, I entered Mvc2, 3^rd strike, ST, and CvS2.  That is a lot of games, but it worked out because it gave me something to look forward to each day of the tourney.  3s was bullshit, since so many people entered that the matches were not the usual 2/3, but only one match.  First guy I played was Remy, which sounds good on paper but all you have to do is keep me away.  Hugo cannot get in if you just throw sonic booms.  Lame, but smart on his part for doing so.  In the losers bracket I fought a very good Dudley.  Fuck this game.  OK not really, but I still do not like it very much.

CvS2 was actually pretty fun.  This game was also only one match, but the game takes forever so that is understandable.  Again I did not make it out of the pool, but for someone who only practiced the game at a high level for two days with William, I am proud of the fact that I came close to winning both of my matches.  The game will now be at those Friday tournaments at Zach’s and I look forward to improving in this game.

ST was intense.  I did not make it to the top 40 like my fellow Team Seattle members Julien and Nate, but it was still lots of fun.  I lost to Vega, my fucking worst enemy in this game.  I had it, but could not pull through.  One of the highlights was being able to land Ryu’s jumping up+strong juggle into the super fireball. 

In Marvel, my first opponent was none other than Combofiend.  I have seen this guy in videos all the time and now I am fighting him at Evo.  Fucking great.  Needless to say he whooped me, his Magnus is amazing and off to the losers’ bracket I go.  Then I actually managed to rape two people in a row and they were using some nasty ass teams too.  Some sort of Blackheart/commando type teams.  I landed my patented Colossus setups in the corner several times.  I hope I traumatized those fuckers because I was pissed off and on a mission.  Lastly, I fight some dirty Mexican playing on a fucking pad.  Seeing as he was a dirty Mexican I was not surprised, maybe I was in such shock at these dirty tactics that I lost. 

Overall the experience was a lot of fun.  Now there is even talk here in Seattle of creating a regional Northwest fighting game tournament.  I will probably be playing street fighter until I am married (35+), so seeing these old ass games get larger and larger audiences brings a tear to my eye.  OK not really, but it is still cool nonetheless.  I will definitely be going to Evo for many years to come.  It was a nice mix of gaming, randomness, and meeting people you have only talked to on a forum.  Now I am wondering why I did not bother going to past Evos, it is impossible to not have fun on such trips.

Random Rant

With the ever increasing popularity of MMA in the states, one annoyance has arisen for me.  It seems to me that nowadays people think that because they took one jiu jitsu class or saw a video that they think they can fight.  Do people not understand just how much training goes into being an MMA fighter, or any athlete for that matter?  I find it especially funny with fat ass out of shape mofos try to spit knowledge on choking fools out.  Good luck trying to shoot on fools or going for the armbar while on concrete.  Some people just need to shut the fuck up.  Also, if you guys have not seen the Couture/Gonzaga fight, you must.  It was an amazing display of strategy and ownage.

 You know what sucks?  HDTV’s that is what.  If someone is willing to spend $2000+ on a decent set, you would expect a monitor that does anything and everything you tell it to do.  The problem is, if you get an HDTV that displays at something like 1080p, your HDTV will try to upscale every fucking signal you plug into it.  As it literally does the math for the image upscale, you get lag from signals that are not originally intended to be displayed at such high resolutions.  This means any game console that is not a PS3 or an Xbox 360 will have an image with lag.  Fucking bullshit, hopefully they start making monitors that allow you to set its native resolution from 480i-1080p on the fly.  Maybe I can track something down that deals with these annoying issues.  Seeing all those nice HDTV’s at Best Buy sure makes me want one, but lag is unacceptable. 

On my way home, merging onto I-5 at a ridiculous speed, I noticed a bright yellow car.  It was none other than a Saleen Mustang.  I boost like a crazy bastard to be ready for him, because he saw me gun it and proceeded to do the same.  He had a lot more room to pick up speed but I did not care, I wanted to give it a shot.  He gets about half a car length on me because he had more momentum than me at the time, but before we can really go at it we hit traffic.  The crazy bastard driving the stang then moved across four lanes, because he almost missed his exit.  It was a brief encounter, but lots of fun while it lasted.  This all happened in broad day light and I am sure we scared and pissed off lots of people.  Sorry, but sometimes you just got to do it. 

After going to Gameworks for a bit and five minutes away from home a fucking gnat, or something stupid small, flew into my goddamn eye.  For five minutes straight I am shifting and steering with one hand and scratching my eye with the other.  Good thing I had a water bottle handy so I opened it up and fucking poured that shit on my face.  I must have looked extremely retarded with half my t-shirt soaked, but eventually I was able to see and drive properly.  Fucking random. 

            I have been meaning to update this thing for the longest time.  Surprisingly, I have been kept pretty busy despite the monotonous nature of simply working full time. Lately I have been playing a lot of Super Street Fighter II Turbo, quite possibly the greatest, if not the greatest fighting game ever.  I have been playing these games since the early 90’s, but only until recently have I had the opportunity to play some of the best players out there.  The game is over 10 years old and it is still hot, like fire.  If anything, 3rd Strike is losing a lot of its appeal to me.  It is fun and all, but is really fucking boring at the highest level of play.  MVC2 casuals are still a lot of fun, but at the tourney level it is the most frustrating game ever.  I pride myself in my courage and heart, but when you have to face Santhrax every other fucking match, I may as well give my money to the top 3 players.  It’s all good though; I’m a fucking beast and can take whatever gets thrown at me.  No pain, no gain.

            In an unrelated note, it has finally dawned upon me that this will be my last “summer break” ever.  Well, that is if I can get a meager 29 credits this coming school year.  Despite having a degree unrelated to my current job, the work experience I am earning is buff to the max.  I would not mind staying at Mithun for a while to save up and give me time to decide what the hell I am supposed to do later on in life.  I guess what sucks the most about this whole “growing up” process is that a good portion of the homies will leave Sea-town forever.  I saw this coming a while ago, but it still fucking sucks.  No matter what, the homies will be thousands of miles away and makes it difficult to keep close ties.  I guess it’s an incentive to travel more often, and traveling is pretty fresh.

            Only thing I really need to do this summer is dyno/tune my car.  Set it and forget it, and proceed to drive the shit out of it.  If anything, I have been craving a low-rider, or a Lincoln Continental Mk. IV, but these cars big and manly.  The size of Seattle’s pussy ass hippy parking spots are custom made for girly cars like the Prius.  I guess a motorcycle would be more practical and allow me to be stuntin’ like my daddy.

           Apologies if this post is somewhat politically correct, nothing has been on my mind lately since things have been nice and relaxed.  However, let us take this moment of celebration via the 4^th of July, to reemphasize how the US the most fucking bad ass and best country in the world.  You know I am right, do not make me tea bag you.

I wrote this a while ago, but still relevant.

He is the handsome guy on the right. Very few people have the honor and privilege to hang out with Jie due mostly to the fact that he has only three friends.  Usually I invite him to hang out but due to Jie’s busy schedule it is difficult to arrange a meeting.  This is because Jie works stupid hours and throws everybody else with a normal schedule off track.  He gets off work late in the evening but his activities after work are fucking absurd.  Jie likes to take naps for no fucking reason.  Meaning, while normal non-retards are gathering to begin the night’s activities, Jie’s bitch ass is asleep.  To top it off, after his naps he goes to workout in shoreline which is quite the journey from his home in New Castle.  If we are lucky, Jie is finally available to meet up at around 11PM.  Fortunately, the experiences he provides are worth the tardiness of his arrival.  On one particular night, the events that took place were hilarious, and this is what I will now discuss. 

So, we meet up with Jie and David Lew at my house to go drinking on the Ave.  Me and all the gays make our way there and Jie starts the massive shit talking, challenging the amigos to go drink for drink.  It is what you come to expect from such a keyboard warrior.  We get to the bar and he orders an AMF for himself because he is too much of a prick to buy a round for the only guys who put up with his shit.  After we all get our drinks Jie tells Dj LaoD to take a picture of Jie and his first drink, because Jie assures us that it will be the first of many.  Approximately 45 minutes passed and Jie barely finishes his first drink.  This is failure number 1.  Jie gets another AMF and only drinks half of it.  That is failure number 2.  By this point he is already drunk and ridiculously emo.  The facial expression of Jie is one that which is on the verge of tears.  However, we as his friends do not help the situation because this is the time we begin to insult him the most.  It is unclear whether Jie can take such abuse or if we are making the situation worse.  When we are all buzzed it doesn’t matter and we stop caring.  I always tend to bring up stuff that will get me a good response like the topic of his receding hairline or of girls who only think of him as a friend and nothing more.  

On this night, Jie also felt the urge to go Rick’s, Seattle’s finest gentlemen’s club, at around 2AM.  As we all know, Rick’s closes at 2:30AM, and Jie got the brilliant idea to visit such an establishment in Ballard so the drive was only a few exits away.  We get there at around 2:10 and David Lew and I decide it is not worth the ten dollar cover charge and proceed to wait in Jie’s car and talk about our feelings.  Twenty minutes pass by and Jie comes out looking somewhat satisfied.  Although, I could see it in his eyes… a piece of his soul remained inside of that dirty and evil place.  Of course, we ask how much he spent.  Turned out to be an absurd amount around $200.  Let me explain, a lap dance costs thirty bucks and if the female of your choice actually enjoys your presence then you can get much better deals.  Seeing as how each song for a lap dance lasts no more than five minutes when you do the math you realize just how fucking retarded Jie really is.  This guy is truly a barrel of laughs. 

An example of Jie and his failure as a man:

jyangm: i can just marry a stripper overnight
jyangm: get her really drunk
jyangm: then null the marriage a week later
jyangm: if she tries to get ailomony
jyangm: ill just arrange for an accident
MixMaster P 2k3: that plan would backfire, since you would already be madly in love with her
jyangm: LOL!
jyangm: TRUE
jyangm: SO TRUE
jyangm: SO VERY
jyangm: VERY
jyangm: TRUE
jyangm: im going to cut myself
jyangm: excuse me

Too many 14 year old children and aZns on that bitch.  Besides, we all know wordpress is for elitists, and there is no one better than I so I may as well allow my greatness to proliferate amongst the masses.  Also, I believe that I have obtained the greatest possible URL for my blog because we all know that it is true.  This shit is truly top tier.